Let’s get real about how much you should rely on motivation to lose weight. While motivation is a massive help in the short term to get rid of that excess fat, you are never going to reach your weight goal (whatever that might be) if you only train, eat well when you’re motivated.
It’s just not going to happen.
When I first qualified as a personal trainer, I made the mistake of thinking that people needed to be constantly motivated. But now …
After going through the process of getting myself back into shape, I realise motivation is not the secret to winning on your fitness journey.
So, if you are wanting to, about to begin or are currently in the process of trying to lose weight, this is going to be really helpful for you.
In this post, you’ll learn how to stay consistent when motivation fades, why fad diets fail, and how small wins build real change.
The Truth About Motivation: Why Waiting to Feel Motivated Doesn’t Work
You’ve probably been told to “find your motivation” to lose weight, as if it’s some magical switch you can flip on and suddenly you’ll want to hit the gym every day and eat salad instead of pizza.
But the truth is, waiting to feel motivated is exactly why you end up stuck in the same cycle, gaining and losing the same pounds year after year.
Just think about all the thousands of people that pay for a gym membership in January, only to have quit a few months later. That’s one of the reasons “Why Most Men Fail Their New Year Fitness Goals”.
And so, most people who drop a bunch of weight end up putting it back on. Research shows that over half of what you lose comes back within two years — and by five years, about 80% of it’s back [1].
So yeah, only a small number of people actually keep it off for good.
The reason? They’re relying on motivation …
An emotion that comes and goes like the weather – instead of building the systems and habits that actually create lasting change.
If you want to lose weight and keep it off, you need to understand how motivation really works. You mist develop a strong ‘why’ and build sustainable systems that work even when you don’t feel like it.
The neuroscience is clear – dopamine spikes that create motivation are temporary and unreliable. You might feel pumped up after watching a transformation video on social media, but that feeling will fade within hours or days.
Successful people don’t wait for motivation; they act despite not feeling motivated.
Just think about all the thousands of people that pay for a gym membership in January, all pumped up to get fit, only to lose interest by March.
But then, compare that with elite athletes training in January when it’s cold and dark, or entrepreneurs starting businesses during economic uncertainty. They don’t wait to feel motivated – they understand that action leads to results.
So when your motivation comes from the inside — like wanting to feel stronger, healthier, and proud of yourself …
You’re far more likely to stick with it long-term. Research shows that people driven by personal values, not quick rewards, are the ones who keep the weight off years later [2].
That’s why MFQ focuses on building habits and a mindset that lasts. Because life throws curveballs and motivation disappears. But since you’ll have the habits and systems in place that keep you moving forward — you’re more likely to succeed.
Finding Your Real ‘Why’ To Get Fit
If you do not have a reason to lose weight then I believe I’m pretty safe in saying you’re not going to lose weight. The simple reason …
You do not have a “Why”.
The why creates a reason why you’re going to the gym, why you’re eating a certain way and what stops you from drinking 8 pints on a Friday night.
One way of doing this is by using the “5 Whys” technique:
- Why do you want to lose weight? For example, “To look better.”
- Why do you want to look better? For example, “To feel more confident.”
- Why do you want to feel more confident? For example, “So I can be more present with my family.”
- Why do you want to be more present? For example, “Because I want to model healthy behavior for my kids.”
- Why is that important? For example, “Because I want them to have a better relationship with health than I did.”
Now you’re getting to the real stuff, the trigger and reason (WHY) that’s going to make you stick to the commitment of losing weight.
Because when your weight loss goal connects to being a better parent, having more energy for your career, or reducing health risks that could impact your family, you’ve found something that helps motivate you through tough times.
Now, if your WHY is simply to look great and have your abs showing, that’s fine. Don’t let anyone shame you into thinking your reason is too vain. If this is a strong enough goal for you, and keeps you committed to showing up and putting in the work …
No one should shame you for that.
After all, in order to achieve that goal, you need to work so hard that by the time you do achieve your goal, you should feel a lot of pride for the work and discipline you have shown.
Consider these deeper motivations:
- Having the energy to play with your children without getting winded
- Reducing your risk of diabetes or heart disease to be there for your family long-term
- Building the discipline and confidence that carries over into other areas of life
- Breaking cycles of poor health habits in your family
Take time to identify your core values and connect weight loss to those values. When your goal aligns with who you want to be as a person, you’ll find the strength to stick with it even when motivation is low.
Whatever your reason is for losing weight, always remember your WHY during the moments when you lack motivation.
Breaking Free from Quick Fixes and Fad Diets
The fitness and food industry makes billions selling you the idea of quick fixes that will solve your weight problems in weeks. Juice cleanses, extreme calorie restriction, 6-week abs workout. These approaches might give you rapid initial results, but they set you up for long-term failure.
Here’s what the research backs …
Most fad or restrictive diets don’t hold up long-term. Some reviews throw around numbers like 80–90% of lost weight being regained — and while that’s probably an exaggeration, the point still stands. When you rely on heavy restriction, your body fights back. Metabolism slows, hunger hormones spike, and food starts to take over your thoughts [1].
The problem is, these quick fixes appeal to our desire for instant gratification, but they actually make weight loss harder by:
- Creating unhealthy relationships with food
- Damaging your metabolism through extreme restriction
- Teaching you nothing about sustainable habits
- Setting unrealistic expectations for normal progress
- Not preaching that consistency is key
So stop chasing short-term diets, quick-fix fitness gimmicks and start building a lifestyle. Don’t cut out whole food groups — just learn how to eat the right amount. Skip the endless cardio marathons and lift weights consistently instead.
And forget the strict meal plans — use simple, flexible rules you can stick with for life.
Building Momentum Through Simple Wins and Consistency
Forget dramatic lifestyle overhauls. The most successful people build momentum through small, consistent wins that compound over time. This is where the magic happens – not in perfect weeks, but in the accumulation of 1% improvements daily.
This idea is the basis for the MFQ Beginners Fitness Programme (currently being developed). Examples of this method include:
- Walking 10 extra minutes today
- Drinking one additional glass of water
- Adding some vegetables to one meal
- Doing 30 minutes of physical activity
- Going to bed 30 minutes earlier
These might seem insignificant but, in trials, those small steps turned into habits that were easier to stick saw better weight results amongst participants.
So you can use those small wins to build the psychological momentum needed for major transformation.
So you might be sitting there thinking how, or wanting me to give an example. That I can do as this is not rocket science. In fact it is really simple stuff.
So you can use habit stacking to make new behaviours automatic. Link new healthy behaviours to existing routines:
- After I pour my morning coffee, I will drink a glass of water
- When I sit down for lunch, I will log my meal in my food diary
- After I change into comfortable clothes, I will go for a 15 minute walk
Track process goals rather than outcome goals. Instead of obsessing over pounds lost, track:
- Days you hit your step target
- Workouts completed
- Meals logged in your food diary
- Glasses of water consumed
- Hours of sleep
This approach helps you celebrate your successes daily rather than waiting weeks to see scale changes. Remember, the scale doesn’t always reflect progress – you might be building muscle or improving body composition in ways the scale can’t measure.
The Power of Community and Accountability
Having someone in your corner makes a massive difference. Research shows that people who feel accountable to a coach, friend, or group stick to their training and nutrition plans way better than those trying to do it alone [3].
Obviously there are men out there who can stick to the discipline and not stray without any outside accountability needed. Admittedly I am one of those men. Probably because of my background in sports when I was younger, I can hold myself accountable.
But I know that there are many men who struggle when trying to lose weight on their own, struggling against their own willpower.
Community and accountability work because they provide:
- External motivation when your internal motivation wanes
- Practical support and advice from people facing similar challenges
- Emotional support during difficult periods
- Positive peer pressure to maintain consistency
Different types of support systems work for different people:
Workout buddies: Having someone to meet for morning walks or gym sessions makes it harder to skip and more enjoyable to participate.
Online communities: weight loss support groups and forums provide 24/7 access to encouragement and advice from people who understand your journey.
Family involvement: When your family member understands your goals and supports your efforts, they can help by not bringing trigger foods home or joining you in healthy activities.
Professional help: Working with a registered dietitian, personal trainer, or therapist provides expert guidance and regular check-ins.
To choose the right accountability partner, look for someone who:
- Has similar goals or has successfully maintained weight loss
- Communicates regularly and reliably
- Provides encouragement without judgment
- Respects your boundaries and approach
Set up effective check-ins by:
- Scheduling regular contact (weekly phone calls, daily text messages)
- Sharing specific goals and progress
- Being honest about struggles and setbacks
- Celebrating wins together
Don’t let fear of judgment keep you from seeking support. Most people are dealing with their own challenges and will respect your honesty about yours. The vulnerability required to ask for help often deepens relationships and creates mutual support.
Reframing Discipline and Embracing Challenges
Discipline isn’t about punishing yourself or white-knuckling through cravings. It’s about having the ability to act in alignment with your long-term goals even when facing short-term temptations.
If you can do this 85% of the time then not only are you more likely to lose weight, but you will also do it in a way that’s not too restrictive and therefore more sustainable.
By doing it this way, you avoid having an all-or-nothing mentality. Remember, slipping up doesn’t mean you’ve failed, but if you treat it that way you’re setting yourself up to quit.
In fact, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy Los Angeles claims that cognitive distortions show that rigid, black-and-white thinking makes people more likely to ditch their entire plan after a single mistake.
Instead, adopt a growth mindset approach to your weight loss journey:
- View setbacks as learning opportunities, not failures
- Focus on what you can control today, not past mistakes
- Celebrate progress in all its forms, not just scale victories
- Treat challenges as skill-building opportunities
Common obstacles become opportunities when you reframe them:
Social events: Practice portion control and mindful eating in real-world situations Busy schedules: Learn to make quick, healthy choices under pressure Emotional stress: Develop coping strategies that don’t involve food Plateaus: Fine-tune your approach and build patience
Use mindfulness techniques to observe urges without automatically acting on them. When you feel the urge to eat when you’re not hungry, pause and ask yourself:
- What am I actually feeling right now?
- Will eating this help me reach my goals?
- What would better serve me at this moment?
This isn’t about never enjoying food or never having bad days. It’s about building the mental flexibility to respond thoughtfully rather than react automatically. Over time, this becomes your new normal – not a constant struggle, but a natural way of being.
Practical Training Methods for Sustainable Strength
Forget the all-or-nothing workout mentality that has you either crushing yourself in hour-long sessions or doing nothing at all. Sustainable strength comes from consistent, progressive training that you can maintain for years, not months.
Strength training should be the foundation of your fitness routine because:
- Preserves muscle mass during weight loss, keeping your metabolism higher
- Improves bone density and functional strength for daily life
- provides measurable progress markers beyond the scale
- builds confidence and body ownership
Start with basic bodyweight movements you can do anywhere:
- Squats (work up to 10-15 repetitions)
- Push-ups (modify on knees if needed)
- Walking lunges
- Pull-ups
Progressive overload is key – gradually increase difficulty by adding repetitions, time, or resistance. This might mean doing one more push-up this week than last week, or doing an extra set of lunges.
For those ready for weights, focus on compound movements:
- Deadlifts
- Squats
- Overhead press
- Rows
These exercises work multiple muscle groups and give you the most bang for your buck. Start with light weights and focus on proper form before adding more weight.
Recovery is as important as the workouts themselves. Plan rest days to allow your muscles to repair and grow stronger. This isn’t lazy – it’s essential for progress and injury prevention.
Remember, the best exercise routine is the one you’ll actually do consistently. A 20-minute home workout done three times per week beats a perfect gym routine you only manage once a month.
Maintaining Consistency When Motivation Dips
Motivation won’t always be there, so plan for it. The real difference between guys who keep the weight off and those stuck on the yo-yo train is having a system for when motivation hits the floor.
When that happens, don’t quit — simply scale it back. Use the “minimum effective dose” mindset and do some basics things:
Don’t feel like working out
If you don’t feel like working out, still walk into the gym. When people feel this way, just by still entering the gym (even if you do not workout as hard) you have won half the battle. Make a start and if you still can’t bring yourself to spending an hour in the gym, do a half-hour session or two sets per muscle group.
At least this way you will have done something, which is better than nothing and …
This will still accumulate over time to have a positive impact.
Meal prep
If you’ve found yourself in a situation where you haven’t prepped your meals in advance, at least make sure that one of your meals is clean and healthy. That means quality protein, vegetables and a good source of carbs.
Over time, you will get better and more consistent at preparing your meals in advance. Believe me, it saves you a lot of time in the long run.
Set the Trap for Good Habits
A bit of prep can make a huge difference when you’re trying to stay on track.
When I was training for a marathon — and trust me, I hate long-distance running — discipline was everything. Between work and running the kids to their sports, the only time I could train was 6 a.m.
Those winter mornings were brutal. The bed was warm, the air was freezing, and every part of me wanted to hit snooze. So I came up with a fix …
I slept in my running gear.
That way, when the alarm went off, I didn’t have time to think.
I’d roll out of bed, pull on my trainers, drink some water, and be out the door in ten minutes. It sounds small, but that simple habit saved more runs than motivation ever could.
Other example could be:
- Keep workout clothes visible and ready
- Pre-cut vegetables and store them at eye level in the fridge
- Remove trigger foods from your house or make them less accessible
For getting back on track after slip-ups, use the 24-hour rule …
What happened yesterday doesn’t matter.
Focus only on making your next meal a healthy one. This prevents the “I’ve already blown it” mentality that turns minor setbacks into major relapses.
During high-stress periods, holidays, and major life changes:
- Lower your expectations temporarily while maintaining minimum habits
- Plan ahead for challenging situations when possible
- Have backup plans for when your normal routine gets disrupted
- Focus on maintaining rather than progressing during difficult times
Remember that progress isn’t linear. You’ll have good weeks and bad weeks. The key is to stay in the game long enough for the good weeks to outnumber the bad ones.
The Emotional Payoff: Confidence and Body Ownership
The real change isn’t just what you see in the mirror — it’s what happens in your head. When you lose weight the right way, with habits you can actually stick to, you build real confidence. You prove to yourself that you can set goals, stay consistent, and push through even when it’s hard.
That’s what researchers call body ownership — that feeling of being strong, capable, and in control of your body. You’re not just smaller — you’re more powerful. Not just lighter — you’ve got more energy. You’re not just leaner — you’re more confident in who you are and what you can handle.
And it doesn’t stop there. The mental wins pile up:
- You sleep better.
- You’ve got more energy through the day.
- Better able to handle stress without falling apart.
- You actually respect yourself for showing up and following through.
- You think clearer and feel sharper because your body’s finally fuelled right.
Most guys in studies say the same thing — the lessons they learn from getting fit carry over to everything else. Goal setting. Discipline. Problem-solving. Self-respect. It’s all connected.
This isn’t just about fitting into smaller clothes — it’s about becoming the kind of man who takes care of himself and keeps his word. Every workout, every healthy meal, every small win builds proof that you’re capable of more than you thought.
That’s the real payoff — not the number on the scale, but knowing deep down that you can do hard things and create lasting change.
Key Takeaways
- Motivation is unreliable – successful weight loss depends on building systems and habits, not waiting to feel motivated
- Your ‘why’ must go deeper than appearance goals to create lasting change and emotional connection
- Quick fixes and fad diets sabotage long-term success by creating restriction-binge cycles
- Small, consistent wins build unstoppable momentum better than dramatic lifestyle overhauls
- Community support and accountability increase your chances of success by 95% according to research
FAQ
What should I do when I completely lose motivation to continue my weight loss journey?
Lower your standards temporarily and focus on maintaining rather than progressing – even 30 minutes of exercise or one healthy meal counts. Revisit your deeper ‘why’ and reconnect with your core values that drove you to start. Reach out to your support system immediately – don’t try to push through alone. Remember that motivation follows action, not the other way around – commit to one small healthy choice today.
How do I stay motivated when the scale isn’t moving despite my efforts?
Focus on non-scale victories like one extra rep, increased energy, better sleep, improved strength, or clothes fitting differently. Understand that weight fluctuates daily due to water retention, hormones, and other factors beyond fat loss. Take body measurements and progress photos monthly as alternative progress markers. Remember that muscle gains can mask fat loss on the scale, especially when strength training. Consider if you need to adjust your calorie deficit or exercise routine after consulting with a professional.
Is it normal to feel motivated some days and completely unmotivated others?
Yes, motivation naturally fluctuates – successful people plan for low-motivation days rather than relying on feeling motivated. Create “minimum viable habits” you can maintain even on your worst days (like drinking one extra glass of water). Track your patterns to identify what triggers low motivation (stress, poor sleep, certain foods) and address root causes. Build systems and routines that don’t depend on how you feel in the moment.
How long does it typically take to see real results that keep me motivated?
Energy improvements and better sleep often appear within 1-2 weeks of consistent healthy habits. Visible physical changes typically become noticeable after 6-12 weeks of consistent effort. Focus on process-based wins daily (completed workouts, healthy meals) rather than waiting for physical results. Remember that sustainable weight loss of 1-2 pounds per week means significant changes may take 2-3 months to become dramatic. Celebrate small victories weekly to maintain motivation while larger changes develop.
Should I tell people about my weight loss goals or keep them private?
Research shows that sharing goals with supportive people increases accountability and success rates. Choose your audience carefully – share with people who will encourage and support you, not judge or sabotage. Be specific about the type of support you want (encouragement, workout partners, meal prep buddies). Consider joining online communities or support groups if your immediate circle isn’t supportive. Set boundaries with people who offer unsolicited advice or try to derail your efforts.
References
- Hall KD, Kahan S. Maintenance of Lost Weight and Long-Term Management of Obesity. Med Clin North Am. 2018 Jan;102(1):183-197. doi: 10.1016/j.mcna.2017.08.012. PMID: 29156185; PMCID: PMC5764193.
- Teixeira, P.J., Silva, M.N., Mata, J. et al. Motivation, self-determination, and long-term weight control. Int J Behav Nutr Phys Act 9, 22 (2012). https://doi.org/10.1186/1479-5868-9-22
- Chhabria K, Ross KM, Sacco SJ, Leahey TM. The Assessment of Supportive Accountability in Adults Seeking Obesity Treatment: Psychometric Validation Study. J Med Internet Res. 2020 Jul 28;22(7):e17967. doi: 10.2196/17967. PMID: 32720911; PMCID: PMC7420735.
